Dear Ophelia

      I really think that Hamlet is just mellifluous and is showing you some affection and that you are taking it way too seriously. I really have empathy for you in this situation because it is a common one and it is also quite a bete noire. I think that you need to stop being so fervid about the whole relationship and treat it as it is, a fling. I've got to give kudos to Hamlet here because he has really infatuated you over him and I doubt he has even given you any lagniappe. I bode your pursuance of his heart will be lackluster and end with him just being cantankerous about the whole thing, including you.